Innocence
by xxX-Taiyo-to-Tsuki-Xxx
Summary: "Amu Hinamori, victim of rape, assault and kidnapping. Since-" That is the only thing I could remember prior to an incident where I lost my memories. They said that I am innocent...but I know I am far from it. Because somethings you can't erase.


WA/N** - Hey everybody. I haven't been writing for a while and I'll be pretty rusty and won't be updating very often ( For which I am sorry and apologise for). I'll only post more chapters if people want them so drop a review below if you want me to.**

**Another thing, Ikuto won't appear until around chapters 2-3.**

"Amu Hinamori, aged 26, victim of rape, assault and kidnapping. Since-" I drowned out the voice, not wanting to hear what I already knew. They speak about my case as if they know everything about it, as if they were the victims.

The room around me seemed unfamiliar from where I stood, in front of all those sympathetic eyes. I was accustomed to damp stonewalls, cold shackles and pain.

Oh god the pain. At first I had been able to subside the pain with hope that I would be found. But a person can only hope for so long, it didn't take me long to lose faith. The less I hoped the more the pain got to me and the more broken I felt.

Eventually I forgot about my life from before and suffered in my life then. Still to this day I can't remember my previous life.

A distinct smell of coffee and wood filled my senses as I scanned the room for a familiar face.

Beside me in his stand was a judge, his eyes never leaving the man if front of him-who happened to be reading out my file. While the judge seemed to be deeply concentrated on the information, the reader looked to be as if he was half-heartedly reporting it.

If I had known any better I would say that he had cup of coffee to little. His posture was slouched, black bags rested beneath his dull eyes and every so often a yawn would part his lips.

I knew this experience all to well. The things that those men did to me haunted me every night while I was in captivity, even now I can't sleep peacefully.

For 2 years I lived in captivity and not once was I allowed to see the light of day. Concealing me in that of an empty darkness.

I continued my search to find someone I could remember, that was until I felt a chill go up my spine and my gaze met with a pair of grey eyes. Those eyes were the only thing I was familiar with in this room. I recognised those eyes all too well.

Those eyes belonged to my kidnapper.

I was struck with fear as those stormy orbs stripped of any relief. I should of expected this, this was trial after all.

A smirk made it's way onto his confident expression and I was taken back. How could he be so confident in this sort of situation? It was obvious that he had done it, so why?

I contemplated on this thought until I was interrupted by a voice.

"So Miss Hinamori, do you remember where your kidnappered had taken you?" I looked at the man in confusion and he seemed to notice this.

"When you were kidnapped do you remember what they looked like?" That I understood. I tried to speak but no word came from my mouth and so I closed it again. Although I couldn't speak I used actions.

Hesitantly I closed my eyes and pointed at the man guilty of the crime. There were a few whispers and chatters around the room as the man sat back in his chair, still ever so confident.

The moment I lowered my hand the room became silent and I felt the many set of eyes focusing on me, as if waiting for an answer.

"Are you able to communicate, Miss Hinamori?" The lawyer asked in concern. I thought about it for a moment before trying to say something. Again nothing.

Now that I thought about it, I haven't spoken since before the incident. Before that I hadn't had any problems speaking or communicating. If I couldn't speak how could I prove to the judge that that man was guilty. I need to communicate with them somehow if I want to prove that I am not lying.

I looked up at the man again before shaking my head. For a moment he looked shocked, but soon after cleared his throat and turned to the judge.

"Your honor, I request that we take a 15 minute break." The judge contemplated this for a minute before permitting us.

I watched as everyone filed out of the room, still searching for a familiar face. I was still to find someone that knew from before and until then I would have no one to turn to.

But for right now the only people left in the room were the lawyer and I.

"Amu, I know you're scared and that you don't completely understand but you need to talk." His voice was caring and soft, soothing almost, but that didn't help my anxiety.

My kidnapper was here and they were doing nothing about it. Did they not believe me? At any moment he could attack me and they didn't even bother bother to put him in shackles. The thought of it made my stomach do back flips.

The lawyer seemed genuinely concerned of my well being. Maybe I could trust him right now. I hadn't noticed it before but he looked rather young with a wild look to him.

He had spiky chestnut brown hair and piercing green eyes that held happiness and confidence in them. Despite his young appearance he was wearing a black suit and a blue tie both of which looked as if they had been ironed recently. His shoes were formal and black with a shine to them, suggesting that he polished them.

"Earth to Amu, are still there? Name's Kukai Souma by the way." He stated, grinning just like the Cheshire Cat. I was completely confused. One minute he's serious and the next he is acting...like a normal, carefree person.

I couldn't speak and I knew that, but he didn't so I tried to conjure up something that I could use to tell him.

At first I tried to use hand signal but all he did was scratch his head in confusement. I inwardly growled to myself at his idiocy and tried a different tactic. In a hopeless attempt to get him to understand I mouthed the words to him. For a moment I thought he had understood as his face lit up and he lifted his finger as if to say something but then nothing. He suddenly stopped and brought his hand back down.

There must've been something I could do only if I had...that's it I've got it!

Frantically searched for my solution-a pen. How could I have been so stupid and taken so long to think of it.

I spotted a black ball point pen in the front pocket of his pristine suit. I reached out and grabbed it from the pocket, startling him for a moment. After that I grabbed his hand and scribbled some writing on it, praying that he would understand.

"So...you _can't _speak?" He said, just to be sure. I nodded my head and he went and got something from his bag. A few moments later he placed a notepad in front of me, along with a pencil, rubber and pen.

"If you can't speak then we can use this instead. You can go get something to eat or something like that while I go inform the judge." And with that he walked off, leaving me alone in the court room.

I suppose I better go tidy myself up and grab a bite to eat.

* * *

Stepping out of the restrooms, I let a short yawn escape my lips. The lack of sleep was finally getting to me. Perhaps a cup of coffee from the canteen would help.

While tidying up my appearance a thought came to my mind. Don't I have parents?

I mean everyone has parents so where were mine? Maybe they had given up on finding for me, or they weren't around any more and passed on to new life. For all I know they might not even have cared for me.

In the time I had spent in captivity only one person cared about me. Unfortunately...she didn't make it.

* * *

_I laid there, my body broken, bruised and defiled. The only thing that hid my exploited body was an old and torn shirt, stain with blood and bodily fluids. _

_Cold iron shackles dug into my wrists every time I slept, leaving burn marks and blisters in return. Although that was nothing compared to my other injuries._

_There was one injury that stood above all the others, a large gash on the top of my forehead, concealed by my once bubblegum pink hair. Now that I think about it, I can't remember how ingot the injury or why. In fact I can't remember anything. The only thing I knew was that I was that I was trapped by these men who do terrible things to my body._

_The thought of it made a chill go up my spine. Would I ever be free of this torment? Would I be able to go home even if I don't know where home is?_

_There are a lot of things that I wish I could have. Like a home, a family, freedom or even just warm bed. There a lot things that I wish could have but are not within my reach._

_I slumped against and pulled my legs into my chest, not wanting to feel the lack of heat, before closing my eyes and giving into the darkness._

_..._

_A warm feeling woke me from by deep slumber and elevated some of the icy coldness in my limbs. I opened my eyes and saw a girl that looked a few years older than me tending to my wounds. Out of instinct I pushed her away and yelped. She looked at me with a sense of reasurrance and comfort._

_"W-Who are you-u?" I managed to stutter, backing up against the stone wall. That's when I noticed that there were bandages on my body. Did she do this? If she did then I shouldn't have pushed her away like that. "I'm s-sorry I didn't mean-" _

_"It's fine, if I were you I would have been just as frightened as you were." Her voice was soothing and kind. She looked familiar, like I had known her before. "Do you remember how you got that gash on your head? It looks pretty serious."_

_I brought my hand up to my forehead and wince when it came into contact with the raw, open wound. She looked at it closely, for further inspection. That's when I noticed her dull, burnt orange eyes._

_They looked as if they were once bright burning ambers, full of happiness and compassion. But had faded over the years and were put out by the icy darkness of captivity. I imagine that I too, am like that-drained of life and willingness. _

_"I'm sorry, I don't remember...I don't remember anything in fact. Is there something wrong?" Suddenly I felt worried. Would I ever regain my memories or would I have to live without them?_

_"No but it's safe to say that that's the cause of your memory loss." She stated, pointing to my forehead. "Over time you might regain your memories, but it's not definite. In the mean time we need to cover that up._

_In a matter of minutes she had cleaned and covered up my forehead. _

_To my surprise, she led me out of the room and into a bathroom. She had a large, metal container filled with warm water sitting next to her. Steam rising off of it and disappearing into the air._

_"If it's alright with you I'd like to bathe you now to get all that muck off you." I didn't protest as she helped get undressed and cover my bandages with cling film. It's not that I liked people taking off my clothes, it's just that I had been exposed so many times that I don't care anymore._

_I sighed as I lowered into the bath, the warmth seeping into my skin and soothing all the aches and pains in my body. For the first time in the past year I had felt cared for._

_"Erm ...Can I ask you a few questions?" I asked the woman nicely, wanting to know more about her._

_"Sure, ask away."_

_"Who are you? And why are you helping me?" I asked feeling slightly more safe in her presence._

_"Like you, I am being held captive but since I was doctor before I was kidnapped they are allowing me treat all the other girls they are keeping." She said, cleaning my back with soapy sponge._

_"Who are they?" I whimpered, the wounds on my back stinging._

_"No one knows who they are and why they picked the people they picked. If anything I think they just pick up random girls from the street." She replied, slowly beginning to clean my hair._

_Not once in the past year had I been able to wash my hair, that dulled my vibrant, pink hair with stain of blood and dirt and left it almost a murky dark pink. Her eyes widened when she saw my natural hair colour, as if realising something._

_"You have beautiful hair. Is it natural?" I nodded my head in response. _

_"I can't remember but I think so," To be honest I wasn't sure that it was. It just seemes like it though._

_We sat there in silence for a few minutes as she continued washing my hair. I felt grateful towards her a hoped that maybe I could return the favour one day._

_"Okay, it's time to dry you off." She stood me up and wrapped me in a large towel, big enough to cover my entire body.. I felt very uneasy about walking down this corridor in just a towel. I felt as if anything and everything could jump out at me. I edged closer the kind woman and held her arm._

_She noticed this and gave me a reassuring smile just before stopping at the rickety door that led to my bedroom and handing me a pile of clothes._

_"I should leave now, I'll come back later though don't worry." The moment she turned around to leave I grasped onto her arm with my free hand._

_"Your name? You never told me." She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder._

_"If I told you it wouldn't be much of a secret...Amu." I short gasp escaped my lips at that statement. How did she know my name? My grip on her arm loosened ever so slightly and before I knew it she was gone..._

* * *

One of my hands had made their way up to the scar on my forehead as I recollected that night from just over a year ago. The scar was never going to fade, just like the gulit of the thing I regret, the things I had done.

Being in that awful place changed me. I did things that no matter what I do I would never forget or forgive myself for. Even now the memories and guilt chip away at me.

And will continue to until there is nothing left of me.

.

.


End file.
